Tuesday

Why does the ball roll?

Because it was dirty.

That's another joke that doesn't translate real well into English but is pretty funny in Spanish.

Speaking of jokes . . .

Yesterday, I told one of my classes the old joke about the dog with a bandaged foot who walks into a bar looking for the guy who shot his paw. A long, uncomfortable silence followed and was finally interrupted by the bell.

Speaking of that joke . . .

As I just typed that, I was looking for some kind of cool link, and I came across these. I found them pretty hilarious. You've probably already heard them all, but I hadn't. You'll have to forgive me if I'm a bit behind the times; I was home schooled.

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Do you want to play a game? See those two rib-eyes nailed to the ceiling? You get to throw one dart. If you hit one, you get to take them home and I'll give you a free drink." The man says, "No thanks, the steaks are too high."

A guy walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, "Can I have a bag of helicopter flavor chips?" The barkeep says, "Sorry, we only have plain."

A guy walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. "What do you call that?", asks the bartender. "I call him Tiny because he's my newt!"

A soccer ball walks into a bar. The bartender kicks him out.

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"

A leprechaun walks into a bar. The bartender serves him and says, "That'll be $2.50." The leprechaun puts two dollar bills on the bar and starts walking away. The barkeep shouts, "You're a little short!"

A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and the mushroom says - "Why not? I'm a fungi."

Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Would you like a beer?" Descartes replies, "I think not", then disappears.

A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, "Have you seen my brother?" The bartender asks, "I don't know . . . what does he look like?"

A man walks into a bar and sits down next to a lady and a dog. The man asks, "Does your dog bite?". The lady answers, "Never!" The man reaches out to pet the dog and the dog bites him. The man says, "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" The woman replies, "He doesn't. This isn't my dog."

A little guy walks into a bar and slips on a spilled drink. Minutes later a tough guy walks into the bar and slips on the spilled drink as well. The little guy says, "I just did that." The big guy then beats the little guy up.

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and hears a small voice say, "You look nice today." A few minutes later he again hears a small voice, "That's a nice shirt." The guy asks the bartender, "Who is that?" The bartender says, "Those are the peanuts. They're complimentary!"