Dear blog readers,
I need your help again. I will spare you the long story that precedes my situation and just tell you that I have two sweet potatoes left over from Thanksgiving, and I'm not sure what to do with them. I will present a number of options, and you vote for the one that you think is the best. I assure you that the sweet potatoes are real and that I am prepared to photograph the results. Here are the options:
A. dress them up like Mr. and Mrs. Sweet Potato Head
B. eat them - raw
C. carry them around in my hands. If someone approaches me and asks for something, I can respond, "I'd love to help, but I've got these sweet potatoes."
D. have some kind of game in class and tell the kids that the winner will receive a cool prize. Can you imagine their faces? "Congratulations, you win two sweet potatoes!"
E. sell them on ebay
F. get out the blender and some ice and make sweet potato smoothies
G. carve Feliz into one, Navidad into the other and put them in the box of my Secret Santa friend at school.
H. paint one like a devil and one like an angel and carry them around in my pockets. Whenever I am faced with a decision, I'll pull them out and put one on each shoulder. I'll let them argue for awhile, but of course the little devil sweet potato will always win.
I. throw them at our neighbors the next time they have a party
J. let Matt blow them up in Science class
K. shoot them with Matt's gun
L. hang them on gold chains to make matching necklaces for Robin and me. I could even write you com on one and plete me on the other.
M. put them in my shirt sleeves where my biceps should be
N. rub them together to start a fire
O. whittle them into heads like Mt. Rushmore - but instead of presidents, I would carve Bible heroes
P. trade them for a goat
Q. use a rope to make a cool ninja weapon
R. hide them under someone's couch/stove/carseat and see how long it takes to find them
S. lock them in a room with two onions for an hour and see who's left standing at the end
T. make fried sweet potato sandwiches
U. go to the beach in the morning and bury them in the sand. Then in the afternoon I will walk around with headphones connected to a tree branch that splits at the end. As I am walking around, I will make beeping noises. When I get closer to one of the potatoes, the beeps will get stronger until I'm right on top of it. I'll then dig it up, admire it and dance around with joy. The beach public may not think much of it after I find the first one. But after the second, they'll want to know my secret.
If you have your own idea, you may write it in. I thank you for your help.
N. Bary LeDank