it's in the way that you hear it

In church yesterday, there was a guest speaker. She was an older woman from the United States. She spoke in English and then another guy translated into Spanish (so we basically heard the sermon twice). At one point she was talking about a mission trip she took to India. She said, "I was leading a big women's conference". Robin and I looked at each other and immediately started laughing and fighting to hold back laughter. She of course meant that the conference for women that she was leading was very large (many people). We heard it as a conference for big women. It's not really all that funny now, but it was at the time.

Similarly, today in class a student said, "Mr. Kandel, what the hell is a bad question?" I gasped and looked at him with a shocked expression. Then, I put it together. He was asking me if the phrase "what the hell" was bad. I quickly told him that it was and that he sould not use it. I get questions about phrases like that with surprising frequency.

On Saturday night, there was a giant cockroach in our house. I know I've talked about big cockroaches before, but they were really just regular sized. This guy was about 5 inches by 3 inches. That's 15 square inches of . . . eeeww. The worst part is how close I came to touching him. I was on the couch, and all the lights were off. I heard some rustling, and I noticed that the patio door was still cracked open. I got up and closed it (didn't want anything getting in). After I closed the door, I thought I noticed something on it a few inches above the handle. I turned on the light and there he was. It took about fifteen minutes and half a can of Raid to kill him. I was going to take a picture, but Robin made me throw it outside as far away as possible just to be safe.