You be the judge: Can I still make it into heaven? This one is similar to the PriceSmart/play dumb/avoid eye contact situation but a bit worse.
I had to go pay a couple bills, which means going to the supermarket or a bank. The supermarket is usually easier, so I tried that first. I got there, and they told me that their system was down. So, I walked to a nearby bank. I should back up a moment. When I left the house, I was carrying cash and only planned on paying the bills, so I saw no need to bring my wallet. I still had on the gym shorts and dirty shirt I had been wearing for little kid basketball practice. I entered the bank and waited for about 15 minutes before I got up to the teller. She processed the bills and then asked for the money. Because I wanted to pay with US dollars, she had to do an exchange first. I guess they need to see id to do that.
Play by play (translated to English and embellished a bit)
Teller - Can I see some identification?
Me - No, sorry lady. I got nothing.
Teller - What about a passport?
Me - No, nothing.
Teller - Are you a resident?
Me - Nope
Teller (hands me a small slip of paper) - Can you write your name and passport number on this for me?
Me (not wanting to leave without completing this transaction)- Sure
Me (thinking to myself) - Passport number? Passport number? I think there's a three in there somewhere . . . and a 5-4 combination, or was it 6-4? How many digits are there in a passport number? If I act confused will she think I'm lying and kick me out. Or will she know that I'm struggling to remember and not send me to jail when this is way off. I think there are fewer digits in a passport number than in a social security number. Maybe 8? I wonder if the guard has ever needed to use that shotgun. In Costa Rica, do they shoot people for passport number fraud? 36451890 . . . that looks believable . . . ??
Me (full of nervous confidence) - Here you go.
Teller - Thanks
She procedes to look at the paper, type info into the computer and then hand me a receipt and some change. I get out of there as soon as the high-tech, double-door, fingerprint-reading security doors will let me. On my way out, I steal a quick glance at guardy guarderson and his little friend Mr. Shotgun.
I may have to lay low for awhile.
Also from today . . .
There were about 30 kids at elementary basketball practice this afternoon. Thats too many. I think a good number would be about . . . 3. It was crazy. We're going to have to split them up somehow.
"Sorry teacher - I have an emergency in my pants"
I heard that from a student today. I expected the worst and was relieved to find out that there was a problem with the cell phone in his pocket.